How to Balance a Busy Life: Saying No

Hello my loves, and welcome to Part two of this miniseries of How to Balance a Busy Life!

So I believe that an absolute core-necessity-must have in your pursuit to balancing a busy life is to learn to say NO.

I think that as women we have particular trouble with this one. From day dot we are both consciously and subconsciously taught to be accommodating to others, caring and kind, even when it is to the detriment to our own mental and physical health. We will burn ourselves out in the pursuit of being a good hostess, a good friend, a good mother, daughter, sister and niece. And it has to stop.

Being a ‘good’ person does not mean pouring all of your energy into others. If you do that, then I’m sorry, but you may be more of a good doormat than a good person. Rather than being a ‘good girl’, why not try being a strong role model? Someone who knows the power and importance of putting on your own oxygen mask first, and then (and only then!) being able to help others. I believe that the most vital way we can learn how to step out of this constant giving role is to say no. No, you won’t rush to that last minute dinner that will screw up your meal prep/self care Sunday night plans. No you won’t go flying to someones emotional aid when you yourself have had a draining and awful week. No you won’t be guilted into babysitting when you need some quiet relax and recharge time yourself. Saying no doesn’t have to be mean, it doesn’t make you a ‘bitch’, and it doesn’t make you a bad person/friend/mother/daughter/brother/son/father. If someones opinion of you hangs on the tender hooks of you always saying ‘yes’ to them as you slowly drown in your own chaos, then that is not someone who is truly respecting you. The people who get angry when you say no for the sake of your own well being perhaps need to look at themselves more closely, and unpack why they equate using someone as love.

Sometimes saying no to someone else’s wants means saying yes to yours, and that’s okay. You need to be backing yourself up, recharging yourself, and then giving to others. You’ll be a better person for it, because when you say yes to others, you’ll actually mean it.

-K